It has been suggested in one research paper that 43% of adult women and 31% of adult men have reported having sexual difficulties at some time or the other. There are four phases ascribed to the sexual response cycle and sexual dysfunction can affect any of the phases:
I can tell you that in my own practice men were less bashful about discussing this issue with me. I have often wondered whether their partners were equally concerned or relieved to get a holiday from having to perform this ‘duty’. Either way, we have a problem here for discussion. A common example of the man having impotence issues and his partner having no sexual desire.
Common Sexual Problems
There are physical causes which include:
- Heart disease
- Menopause and Andropause
- Diseases of the reproductive organs
- Side-effects of medication and therapeutic interventions
Emotional causes are:
- Drug addiction
- Post-traumatic Stress Disorders
Refocusing on Intimacy and Romance
It is instructive to note that in many cultures, namely Eastern cultures, love making has rituals which preceded the main event. The preparation was all about heightening the senses with the use of specific food, drink, herbs, massage, and essential oils. These are considered to be aphrodisiac: great wine, grapes, peaches, pears, kiwi, ginseng, tomatoes, oysters and walnuts are just a few.
An Indian ritual is called tantric sex. Tantra is a Sanskrit word which means “woven together”. Tantric sex is a slow pace series of intimacy which is non-orgasmic. It begins with tuning into each other’s soul by gazing into the eyes, synchronizing breathing and caressing. This ritual builds a deep sexual and mental merging of the couple.
Tips to get your sexy back
1. Pay attention to your physical health and fitness.
- Diabetes, hypertension, heart disease, arthritis must be treated and controlled.
- Get screened for diseases including cancer.
2. Spend quality time together. Long distance relationships put added strain on couples.
3. Explore common interests and find time to do them together.
4. Be the emotional rock for your partner especially when things are not going well. This act of selflessness defines a relationship.
5. Outercourse is practiced in many cultures and one such ritual is tantric sex.
6. Tantric sex reinforces the following:
- The body has several erogenous zones (lips, earlobes, neck, nipples etc.).
- The mental arousal is a powerful aid to sex.
- Body massages are therapeutic and can be sensual.
- Delayed gratification builds the intensity of the climax.
7. Intercourse is the bull’s eye for many couples with respect to the intense gratification which of course is orgasm.
Self-help and sex therapy will work for many couples to restore libido, but there are medical treatments to restore low levels of sex hormones.
Fortunately, most cases of sexual difficulties can be treated and so it is important to discuss this with your partner and family doctor. Seek help to get your sexual vibes going again…this year.
Readers Bureau, Contributor
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